Testimonial from an individual being bullied

For a period of 2 years, I had been working and reporting in a matrix structure whereby the higher positions were not filled with individuals experienced in managing the bullying behaviours that I was experiencing.


I had spoken to my line manager on several occasions and nothing ever happened that made a positive difference. Reputation of bullying behaviors was well known for this particular individual, and I was told to be resilient and not take the attacks personally. For this period I did not know what else to do and tried to be resilient getting on with my work. My self esteem suffered as I never felt I was carrying out my job satisfactorily and this impacted on my entire life. Various people had suggested ways of handling the situation but nothing worked. I felt powerless and my bosses just seemed to move on, accepting that the behaviour I was experiencing was inevitable from this individual and not providing me with possible solutions.


I was referred to Rex and after a 2-hour consultation I was given a step-by-step strategy together with a discussion regarding probable conversations, and likely solutions.  After the appointment, I was asked to write an email to him including my understanding of the process, and how I envisaged I would handle the situation. This allowed for opportunity to clarify any miscommunications and ensure I had interpreted the information correctly. Following this, I felt very confident with the process and I was ready to take personal control. Up until this point however, I had felt entirely helpless, and had no idea what to actually do (and to be truthful, I didn’t believe things could really change!). I felt empowered.


I put into practice the two strategies I had learned throughout my consultation with Rex. As a result of this, I noticed an immediate change in that persons’ behaviour towards me- change that has sustained now for three months. On a couple of occasions I have seen a potential for the old behaviour to return, (which Rex warned me was probable) and I put in place his maintaining strategy and sustained the positive change.


I realised after this that my behaviours were as much of the problem as the person giving me grief(as much as I didn’t want to admit to this initially). I didn’t know what to do and people around me, peers and managers didn’t know either. Negativity and close mindedness, became a routine pathway for communicating and thinking about my discontent with the situation. I had come to the belief that it wasn’t possible to make a change and that I would have to learn to be resilient to the behaviour or leave the job. I didn’t see how being resilient to bullying behaviour was in any way a good objective, nether leaving a job I love and am good at.


I now feel it has made a positive impact on my workplace, in that it has demonstrated how effectively and positively conflict can be managed if done using the correct process.

It is your life and you deserve to love it -
fix it now, give me a buzz, don't put up with bad behaviour that makes you feel bad.

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Rex Buckingham


Talk to me directly: 0407827173

Email: [email protected]  
tell me your story confidentially

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