What sort of surprises is how much guilt we allow, we put up with. Just like in the bullying industry, there needs to be 2 to make it work. The giver and the receiver ; the responsibility for change is on both sides and once again I have to say, it's probably the receiver who has the best chance of achieving change. How much then does the bullied or recipient of the guilt trip want change or just stay complaining . Ugh, responsibilty and leadership; maturity and energy based